Tamara Dares to Sleep

Sleep has been a hot commodity these days. The baby is usually really good at sleeping through the night, but as of late, he's been waking up a couple times, and naps are getting shorter. The result? I'm tired. I hate being tired. I get grumpy. I think nasty thoughts about my loved ones who don't deserve my nastiness.

Writing has been a challenge as well. A few weeks ago I was steaming out 1000+ per day, now I'm struggling to get anything down.

The answer?

I need sleep.

The baby isn't the only reason for my deprivation. We've been having some crazy Tulsa thunderstorms. A few nights ago, the wind actually blew open our back door. All in the house slept through the crazy turbulence except me.

I woke up, walked into the living room, and smelled the scent of rain. I realized a door must've been open, and sure enough, I found the back door banging in the wind.

My husband sleeps like a brick, and with good reason. He averages four, sometimes five hours of sleep per night. I've learned to take up the slack. When baby needs someone at night, it's me. When one of the other kids needs something--they come to me.

I'm hoping the baby gets back into the groove of sleeping soon. Pray that he does!

On Being a Mother

I recently read a post (sorry, can't remember where) about a mother of five children. She was bothered by comments others made about her lifestyle. Comments like, "Wow, you've got your hands full." "How do you do it?"

Her response was that she chose to have five children, she wouldn't choose anything else, and while she may have her hands full, she feels grateful to have her children.

I'm paraphrasing. And I completely agree with the author. But I have another bone to pick--something that's bothered me for a long while.

I am a stay at home mom of four children. It's what I always wanted to do, but in truth, I never prepared for. In high school, I took all the AP classes, studied hard, shunned the home ec. classes because they were blow-off classes. I took Advanced classes, because those would be the classes I needed for college, for my future. In college, I challenged myself, didn't take any classes having to do with homemaking or cooking, because again, I didn't need those.

I got my degree in English, even got a teaching certificate. I was prepared for the world, right?

And then I had children.

How many times have I wished I would've had classes on home maintenance, keeping a schedule, child psychology, stress reduction, how to communicate with a spouse?

But I didn't take those classes, because I wouldn't need them.

It makes me realize how messed up our system is. I don't regret taking AP English and Pre-Cal, but I wish I would've had an opportunity to take classes that would actually help me in my situation now.
I'm not saying that going to college is a bad thing. I loved my college experience, and I plan on going back someday to get a Master's degree, but why was I so focused on getting the grade in Calculus, when I would've been better off focusing on how to communicate with children.

I always assumed the mothering thing would come naturally. Some of it did. But I'll admit, sometimes I have no clue.

In the meantime, I'll learn while I go. I'll take the challenges with a positive attitude. And someday I might figure out what I'm doing.

Sad Cat Diary

I was in tears after watching this. Anyone who has cats will understand! So hilarious. I write this as my own cat, Chester, stalks my keyboard. I gave him my empty yogurt cup to appease him. He now has yogurt on his nose. Perhaps he can add it to the diary.

A Review of THE FIFTH WAVE by Rick Yancey

I'll admit, since becoming a writer, I've gotten critical of everything I read. Instead of thinking, hey this is a good story, a little slow, but still fun--I'll think, hey they're cluttering the page with adverbs, why so much back story, is that adjective really necessary?

That's an example of my thought process. It's called the writer's curse, and I've got a bad case of it. Whenever I do book reviews on here, keep in mind that I'm very picky.

That being said, I loved THE FIFTH WAVE by Rick Yancey.

It starts with a quote from Stephen Hawking, which basically says that if aliens were to visit our world, the outcome would be similar to the Europeans discovery of the Native Americans--disastrous.

I've always liked the quote, and I was interested to see Mr. Yancey's interpretation of it.

The beginning of the book intrigued me. It wasn't the typical aliens vs. humans. We didn't see any aliens for half the book, didn't even know what they looked like, which I think added to the tension. The world's in shambles. Ninety percent of the population has been wiped out. Our heroine, Cassy, is alone.

The middle of the book sagged for me. I was interested in Cassy's story, and then we switch to another view point. While this story wasn't bad and certainly entertained, it wasn't what I wanted to read. I wanted Cassy's story, not someone else's story.

Finally we switch back to her story. We get hints of a romance, but for me, it was too slow. I don't read romance, but I like a little in my stories, and I felt this romance could use some TLC.

After that the book see-sawed. Her view point, the other guy's, her's again. My head spun after awhile. Just give me her story, dang it. She's the one I'm interested in.

The end of the book didn't feel satisfying. I needed more closure. Even if Mr. Yancey intends to write a sequel, I still want more closure than what I got.

You see? Told you I'm picky. In all, I enjoyed reading the book, and I will definitely read the next book. Until then, does anyone have suggestions of what I might read next?

Making Time to Write

I called this post Making time to write, not Finding time to write, because I don't believe in finding time. It can't be found.

If you're not a writer, insert you're own hobby into the sentence.

Making is different than finding. When you make something, you actively put thought into you. You plan ahead, you rearrange your schedule so that when 9 a.m. comes around, you know exactly what you are doing.

When you find something, it usually happens by chance. How many times have I looked for keys only to find them when I wasn't expecting? It wasn't something I planned.

I firmly believe that when you really want it, you can achieve it, no matter what road blocks are in your way.

I write to stay sane. It opens up my mind, it keeps me sharp, it makes me feel as if I've accomplished something. When I don't write, I get grumpy. The same goes for not exercising.

Many situations in life aren't fair, but there is one thing that everyone on the planet, past and present, has equal amounts of.

Time.

The only difference is how you spend it.

Thank You! And Why I'm Addicted To Reality TV

Last week, unknown to anyone, I had the goal of doubling the amount of followers on my blog. Guess what? I did it!

Thanks to you!

I went from three to six followers, which may sound silly that I'm so excited, but I feel it's an accomplishment.

I feel grateful to my followers, and hope to keep you posted on what's going on with my writing, my family, and life in general.

As for today's topic, I'd like to discuss my fetish with reality survival shows.

This all started after I had my fourth baby (three months ago). I needed something to keep me occupied while nursing the baby. So I turned on the TV.

It all started with The Deadliest Catch--a fantastic show, in my opinion. Five stars. Those crabbers are down right crazy. And I love it.

Then came Survivorman, Man Woman Wild, Dual Survival. This branched out to other shows like Alaska State Troopers, Navajo Cops, The Shift.

Now I'm currently watching The Colony.

Here's the premise: Seven people agree to live in a post-apocalyptic setting, where they have to survive on whatever supplies are available. They eat rats, snakes, roaches. Bleh. They bathe infrequently. They have to find shelter, water, food, all of which are scarce or in poor condition.

This show is also crazy. I'm surprised it's legal, actually. On season two, one of the colonists gets captured, bound, a bag stuffed over her head, the whole nine yards. Even if it is reality TV, how would this not be traumatizing?

She gets thrown in a jail cell for a day. Again, traumatizing. If you subscribe to Netflix, all these shows are available, assuming you want to waste as much time as I do.

I guess you can see how much time I spend nursing my little booger.

I feel a little embarrassed about how much TV I watch. But there is something to be learned from all this.

Here I go at psychoanalyzing myself: I have trials. Who doesn't? Sometimes I have pity parties, whoa is me, etc. But I watch those shows about people spending thirty hours on a crab boat deck, pulling pots in the freezing cold rain, no sleep, no food. Or the wife following her husband around in awful places around the world, starving, having heat strokes, sleeping in mosquito infested swamps.

And then I think, hmm... at least I don't have it that bad.

In fact, I have a/c, a bed, food whenever I want it, and a family who loves me. Maybe I'll try on a smile for awhile.